Coming back from the Suspension

 

On the last day of the suspension of my PhD I would like to take stock of what I have done over the last three months. In those three months I have been in hospital twice- once for post-operative complications and once for a second, albeit much more minor, surgery. It hasn’t been an easy ride and I was glad I could take those three months to get my head back in the game.

I am excited to get back to the PhD. I can see the finish line now. I know that this is the final push and I *only* have two more chapters to write along with an introduction and conclusion. I want this thing in the bag before Christmas and I now have the energy to possibly do it. I will give up one of my three jobs (maybe) and treat this beast like a 9-5 job. Of course when tomorrow morning rolls around I’ll probably laugh at my good intentions as I crochet while watching the West Wing.

But what have I done? I like lists so let’s go for it:

1. Submitted two fellowship applications in America for this year
2. Wrote most of a chapter on nineteenth century medical school curriculum’s and medical practice around sex education (which I am now editing and hope to present to my supervisors at our first meeting)
3. Had a paper accepted for the SSHM conference in July
4. Submitted a paper on a panel for the MLA conference in Philadelphia in January 2017 (fingers crossed)
5. Bought an electronic highlighter (WORTH IT)
6. Started my ‘suspension’ blanket which I have not finished (probably a bad omen)
7. Visited friends in London and saw the new Wellcome ‘States of Mind’ exhibit, British Library’s ‘Alice in Wonderland’ exhibit, and the British Museum’s ‘Cradle to Grave’ exhibit in collaboration with the Wellcome.
8. Bought many many books that I don’t possibly have the time to read (but are of course all relevant)
9. Went to Marrakech and pondered my worth
10. Thought about getting a “grown-up” job
11. Submitted an application to my dream job that I will not get
12. Submitted many many funding applications (sorry supervisors for harassing you for references)
13. Got 100 new followers on twitter
14. Reconnected with old friends and made them cook for me
15. Perfected my banana bread recipe
16. Began running to help control my diabetes
17. Got a pretty impressive Snapchat streak with my sister (aged 12)
18. Learned how to make some great cocktails
19. Began a draft for an article I’ve adapted from a dissertation

 

I suppose that is quite a lot for a woman who was supposed to be taking it easy but I have found out I am not one for putting my feet up and doing nothing. I think, judging from this list, that I have tried to find a good work/life balance. This is something I really struggled with before and had me admitted to hospital in the first place. I have learned to take better care of myself and put things in perspective- something which I think a lot of PhD students need to do at some stage before they crash and burn!

How Many Camels Am I Worth?

On a recent trip to Morocco our tour guide made a joke to my partner about how many camels he thought I was worth. It became a running joke throughout the holiday but has stuck with me. Of course, my partner answered thousands of camels because he didn’t want to offend me but I have done some research into this and found numerous websites that will give a rough estimate. Some sites will only consider the physical attributes and age, while others offer up an IQ test, degrees and family illnesses.

The first site I found estimated that I was worth 74 camels. If a camel was worth around 2000 euros that would me in monetary value I am worth about 148,000 euros which is actually probably about the amount my parents have helped pay for my education, at least for university.

Alternatively, I looked at how many goats my dowry is worth on this site. It was much lower at 9 but was given the comment “You’re almost the most beautiful girl here”. This was not the only patronizing comment I met during this research. The site girlfriendrecycling.com was infuriating. Under political orientation Feminist was listed as “because she needs someone to blame”. If my weight was over 148lbs the option was “buy one get one free”. One of the face options was “Yassar Arafat” to signify ugliness. As an option for Ass Shape it was recommended for white women to select Flat. It’s hard to believe that this gets worse but it does. I would recommend seeking it out for yourself if looking for a way make one’s blood boil.

Another interesting site I found was Human for Sale which asked for my IQ, qualification status, family illness history among others. I was pleased to find my worth to be a more generous $1,703,058.

While I generally detest the idea of considering a person’s worth in monetary value, particularly in relation to marriage, this has been an interesting exercise. I would have hoped for more camels but 74 is quite a handful, much like myself.