The Handmaids Tale and other female archives

I recently finished reading Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale and I have to say I loved it from start to finish. To be honest I regret not reading it sooner. While it presents an interesting dystopia, there was something in particular that struck me in relation to my research.

The book finishes with an unusual section called ‘historical notes’. I didn’t think that this section would be of much interest but I decided to read it anyway after the abrupt manner in which the main narrative of the book ends. This section skips forward about 150 years after the events of the book to an academic conference and establishes a discussion on the narrative as some sort of oral history. The academics lament about the lack of information held within this account, the difficulty in identifying key figures in the story and issue of discovering what happened to the author of this account.

In some ways this is an issue we encounter with female lives in history. The narrative is not always complete, information that we deem relevant is missing and important links are not made by the subject. Female lives in the archive are often fragmentary and lacking in the rich detail portrayed in male accounts. Hermione Lee in Body Parts and Annmarie Valdes at a recent TORCH conference at the University of Oxford have made these arguments concerning the manner women’s archives and documents have been cut up and separated.

I believe the main issue to be those archivists- particularly male archivists of long ago- who did not see the value of keeping women’s lives intact. For example, in my research on Elizabeth Blackwell I have discovered at least two separate archive collections belonging to her; one at the Library of Congress and the other at the Schlesinger Library, Harvard University. It is not clear why these two archives belonging to the same woman coexist. There are other smaller collections pertaining to Blackwell in London, New York and Pennsylvania also.She has been cut up, separated and her narrative is not complete. While this does happen to some archives of men, it is more prevalent in the lives of women. Atwood is making a great statement here in her discussion of the life of the handmaid, whether or not she realised it. This is not to say that all women’s archives have been mismanaged in the past but it is a fact that many historical researchers come across in their research on women (and other minority groups).

Masturbation and Medicine

The latest chapter of my thesis has brought me in contact with many medical writings about masturbation and I thought I might share a few of these tidbits.

Elizabeth Blackwell, the first female doctor, wrote a sizable amount on this particular topic during the 1870s and 80s when the moral masturbation panic took hold of Victorian society. Blackwell believed that masturbation, particularly in children, led to the breakdown of moral integrity and in the adult could result in suicide. Here are some excerpts from her text The Human Element in Sex (1884):

It will thus be seen that there are two grave dangers attending the practice of masturbation.

The first evil is the effect upon the mind, through the brain and nervous system. The mind is thus prematurely awakened to take in and dwell upon a series of impressions, which awaken precocious sexual instinct. This precocity gives an undue and even dominating power to this instinct over the other human faculties.

Thus the precocious stimulus of childhood, even if it has not undermined the individual health, becomes a direct preparation for the selfishness of lust in the adult.

The other grave danger incurred by the practice of masturbation, is the risk of its becoming an overmastering habit, from the ease with which it can be indulged; also from the insidious and increasing power of the temptation when yielded to, and from its association with the times when the individual is along, and particularly in the quiet hours of the night.

In the adult, nature’s marked distinction between the beneficent effect of voluntary healthy relief, and the injurious action of self-induced irritation, is lost sight of. Individual self-control, the highest distinctive mark of the human being is abandoned. In this way the evil habit may become a real obsession leading to destruction of mental and physical health, to insanity, or to suicide.

Now, this may seem farfetched, but we need to remember that medical opinions concerning illness at this time were influenced by the idea that there was a moral element to disease. The poorer classes were deemed morally and physiologically deficient.

Blackwell plays into this idea of the morally degraded lower classes when discussing how masturbation affected the middle classes. It was believed that masturbation was introduced to middle class homes and children by servants, nursery maids and nurses:

Medical observation proves such injury to infancy is not confined to the lower or to the criminal classes. The habits formed by unrefined or exposed women are brought by servants into our homes. The ignorance or viciousness of nurses, often veiled by respectable demeanour, has injured and even destroyed the children of many a well-to-do nursery.

Of course, people were appalled at the idea of children masturbation (and probably are still today). There is a particular quote that sticks with me from Blackwell’s text when she explores the dangers of child masturbation. When asked why they masturbated they responded “it feels nice”. She explains why this association between masturbation and pleasure may exist for a child (besides the obvious):

[it has] attributed it to the practice which had been innocently pursued of lulling the child to sleep, by laying it face downwards over the lap, and thus with continued movement of hand knee producing unconsciously a long continued pressure upon the genital organs.

It is a fact, also, which deserved most serious consideration, that many ignorant women purposely resort to vicious sexual manipulation to soothe their fractious infants. The superintendent of a large prison for women informed me that this was a common practice, and one most difficult, even impossible entirely to break up

What is fascinating here is that it appears to have been a common practice for women to use genital manipulation or masturbation to soothe their children, or children in their care. Obviously this is not a fact widely advertised by the history books but does make us challenge the Victorian stereotype of prudish toffs!

Some literature (if you happen to be interested):

Boyd, Julia. The Excellent Doctor Blackwell: The Life of the First Female Physician (Sutton Publishing, Thrupp, 2006)

Counter, Andrew. J. “Bad Examples: Children, Servants, and Masturbation in Nineteenth-Century France”, Journal of the History of Sexuality, Vol. 22, No.3 (2013), pp. 403-425

Hall, Lesley. “Forbidden by God, Despised by Men: Masturbation, Medical Warnings, Moral Panic, and Manhood in Great Britain, 1850-1950”, Journal of the History of Sexuality, Vol. 2, No. 3 (January 1992), pp. 365-87

Hunt, Alan. “The Great Masturbation Panic and Discourses of Moral Regulation in Nineteenth-and Early Twentieth-Century Britain”, Journal of the History of Sexuality, Vol. 8, No. 4, (April 1998), pp. 575-615

Laqueur, Thomas. Solitary Sex: A Cultural History of Masturbation (Zone Books, New York, 2003)

Mason, Diane. The Secret Vice: Masturbation in Victorian fiction and medical culture (Manchester University Press, Manchester, 2009)

 

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

As some of you who follow my posts know, I have had a bit of a difficult PhD. From health problems to family illness to supervisor issues, I’m not going to deny that it has felt as if I’m not meant to finish this thesis. Now, with the vast majority of work done, I ponder if academia is for me.

I am lucky in a sense that while I have been writing this thesis, I have also been cultivating an alternate career in HE Librarianship. In the space of the last year I have gone from Library Assistant to Supervisor despite having two operations and writing 40,000 words. Unlike my fellow PhDers, I have a career to fall back on. All they have in front of them is the world of academia.

I did wonder if qualifying as an archivist was a waste of time but I have used this skill wisely. While I bemoan looking for funding for the next step of this journey, I love being able to put down that I have a professional qualification other than ‘napper’.

It has not been easy working so many jobs alongside the PhD which is supposed to be full-time (at one point I was working four jobs). In reality it is a part-time hobby I do when I’m not working or teaching. I have wondered how some of the other PhDs have managed to get published but then again their PhD journey has been joyous compared to mine. They have been fully funded, well-supervised and healthy. I have had to fight tooth and nail throughout this whole process: fight to stay alive, fight to be able to pay rent and fight to get sufficient supervision.

I put my stubbornness down to getting this far. I refuse to give up despite crippling self-doubt and the fear of imposter syndrome. I taught myself how to teach, to write funding applications, conference abstracts, job applications and nurture professional relationships. Perhaps it has been my independence throughout that made my supervisor feel I didn’t need hand-holding. Perhaps it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

On the other hand, I know I am good at my ‘proper’ job. My managers shower me with praise and I know I can approach them for validation of my ideas. I love going to work. I love the people I work with. I feel as if it should be the other way around. Even when I was working (writing and working) 40+ hour weeks, I didn’t have to drag myself to my job and was (and still am) happy to be there. I can see the progress I am making and have all the support I need.

So I ask the question: Should I stay in academia or should I go?

The Lord of the PhD

This post has been a long time in the making for a few reasons. First of all, I am back on the PhD horse and don’t want to admit I have had a LOTR marathon. Secondly, I’ve had more fun talking about this post than actually writing about it and finally, I have three jobs and a full-time research degree to finish so time is not a luxury right now.

Let’s begin! Watching my LOTR marathon I realised that the PhD is much like the Lord of the Rings trilogy. It’s a long and arduous journey, people leave and return, there’s a great soundtrack and some inevitably loses their mind. I have tried to cast my own fellowship based on my PhD experience, using those around me to fill in the gaps. To protect those I know (and myself) I haven’t used real names or specific people but they know who they are (mainly because I told them at post-conference drinks and incidentally called someone an Orc).

The Ring: The PhD/Thesis

Frodo: The PhD Candidate

Sam: The person who starts their PhD with you and ends up being your PhD buddy/ conference buddy/ drinking buddy/ lunching buddy/ buddy buddy. You may turn against them at some point.

Pippin: That PhD friend who is always hungry/ keeps getting into trouble with ‘the powers that be’ but more fun than Merry

Merry: Another PhD person who drinks/eats and is at the same level as you

Gollum: The Viva. Frodo has to defend the ring/thesis against Gollum and kills him and also gets rid of the ring, however begrudgingly. Run with the metaphor…

Gandalf: The Supervisor. This one is tricky because Gandalf dies. During the course of the PhD supervisors can change (mine has several times). Usually they come bigger and better than ever i.e. promotion or better supervisor. Simultaneously your supervisor could retire or die (worst case scenario).

Aragorn: That PhD/ Postdoc who takes you under their wing and tries to help until leaving you to go it alone for the final tormenting part.

Boromir: Another PhD/Postdoc ahead of you who leaves academia.

Legolas: That PhD/Postdoc/Faculty member who seems to do everything effortlessly and who you sort of hate.

Gimli: The mature PhD student or just a curmudgeon.

The Elves: Academics at another fancy institute that you someday would like to join.

Sauron: Generally someone in the Admin Office.

Saruman: Their Puppet.

Galadriel: An academic you meet at a conference and get an academic crush on because they are just so awesome. They are also potentially from the fancy institute you want to join.

Bilbo: The idiot who got you to do a PhD

Orcs: All other PhD students in your field who have the potential to steal amazing Postdocs and jobs away from you. Let’s face it academia is a tough ride.

 

Similarly the various settings in LOTR can be identified as part of the PhD Journey.

Hobbiton: When you decide to set out on the PhD.

Getting to Elrond: The first few weeks of the PhD. Hearing horror stories and realising what an ordeal you have just signed up for.

Elrond: Getting into the PhD and potentially getting a new office.

Mountains of Moria: First year probation review.

The place where Boromir dies: Leaving Drinks

Helm’s Deep: CONFERENCES

Gondor: Final Year and the last stand.

Mordor: The final stretch/writing up year

 

I more than likely have left out a lot of the things I claimed I would include when discussing this with others. However I think this accurately portrays the main gist of what I believe the PhD to be like.

 

 

 

Coming back from the Suspension

 

On the last day of the suspension of my PhD I would like to take stock of what I have done over the last three months. In those three months I have been in hospital twice- once for post-operative complications and once for a second, albeit much more minor, surgery. It hasn’t been an easy ride and I was glad I could take those three months to get my head back in the game.

I am excited to get back to the PhD. I can see the finish line now. I know that this is the final push and I *only* have two more chapters to write along with an introduction and conclusion. I want this thing in the bag before Christmas and I now have the energy to possibly do it. I will give up one of my three jobs (maybe) and treat this beast like a 9-5 job. Of course when tomorrow morning rolls around I’ll probably laugh at my good intentions as I crochet while watching the West Wing.

But what have I done? I like lists so let’s go for it:

  1. Submitted two fellowship applications in America for this year
  2. Wrote most of a chapter on nineteenth century medical school curriculum’s and medical practice around sex education (which I am now editing and hope to present to my supervisors at our first meeting)
  3. Had a paper accepted for the SSHM conference in July
  4. Submitted a paper on a panel for the MLA conference in Philadelphia in January 2017 (fingers crossed)
  5. Bought an electronic highlighter (WORTH IT)
  6. Started my ‘suspension’ blanket which I have not finished (probably a bad omen)
  7. Visited friends in London and saw the new Wellcome ‘States of Mind’ exhibit, British Library’s ‘Alice in Wonderland’ exhibit, and the British Museum’s ‘Cradle to Grave’ exhibit in collaboration with the Wellcome.
  8. Bought many many books that I don’t possibly have the time to read (but are of course all relevant)
  9. Went to Marrakech and pondered my worth
  10. Thought about getting a “grown-up” job
  11. Submitted an application to my dream job that I will not get
  12. Submitted many many funding applications (sorry supervisors for harassing you for references)
  13. Got 100 new followers on twitter
  14. Reconnected with old friends and made them cook for me
  15. Perfected my banana bread recipe
  16. Began running to help control my diabetes
  17. Got a pretty impressive Snapchat streak with my sister (aged 12)
  18. Learned how to make some great cocktails
  19. Began a draft for an article I’ve adapted from a dissertation

 

I suppose that is quite a lot for a woman who was supposed to be taking it easy but I have found out I am not one for putting my feet up and doing nothing. I think, judging from this list, that I have tried to find a good work/life balance. This is something I really struggled with before and had me admitted to hospital in the first place. I have learned to take better care of myself and put things in perspective- something which I think a lot of PhD students need to do at some stage before they crash and burn!

How Many Camels Am I Worth?

On a recent trip to Morocco our tour guide made a joke to my partner about how many camels he thought I was worth. It became a running joke throughout the holiday but has stuck with me. Of course, my partner answered thousands of camels because he didn’t want to offend me but I have done some research into this and found numerous websites that will give a rough estimate. Some sites will only consider the physical attributes and age, while others offer up an IQ test, degrees and family illnesses.

The first site I found estimated that I was worth 74 camels. If a camel was worth around 2000 euros that would me in monetary value I am worth about 148,000 euros which is actually probably about the amount my parents have helped pay for my education, at least for university.

Alternatively, I looked at how many goats my dowry is worth on this site. It was much lower at 9 but was given the comment “You’re almost the most beautiful girl here”. This was not the only patronizing comment I met during this research. The site girlfriendrecycling.com was infuriating. Under political orientation Feminist was listed as “because she needs someone to blame”. If my weight was over 148lbs the option was “buy one get one free”. One of the face options was “Yassar Arafat” to signify ugliness. As an option for Ass Shape it was recommended for white women to select Flat. It’s hard to believe that this gets worse but it does. I would recommend seeking it out for yourself if looking for a way make one’s blood boil.

Another interesting site I found was Human for Sale which asked for my IQ, qualification status, family illness history among others. I was pleased to find my worth to be a more generous $1,703,058.

While I generally detest the idea of considering a person’s worth in monetary value, particularly in relation to marriage, this has been an interesting exercise. I would have hoped for more camels but 74 is quite a handful, much like myself.

 

 

 

Suspending the PhD

Deciding to suspend a PhD is a tough decision for any student to make. Deciding what to do during the suspension is also tough. 

I was told by my doctor to take some time out of my studies for medical reasons in November/December time. In the last 12 months I have been diagnosed with diabetes, a fatty liver and precancerous cells. A PhD is never an easy process and made more difficult with medical issues that cause fatigue and lethargy. 

The main advice I was getting from doctors, friends and family was “take it easy”.  I wish I had taken this advice because I may have noticed the symptoms of an inflamed appendix. It eventually ruptured just before Christmas and very nearly killed me. 

Luckily my supervisors had been working behind the scenes to help me secure my suspension while I was hospital and I received confirmation of it in the New Year. I am now suspended until 31st March and begin back on the 1st April but what do I do in the meantime?

I thought I would be able to sit in front of the TV and binge watch The West Wing but after spending Christmas this way I’ve realised I’m not wired that way. Or, the PhD has instilled a permanent sense of guilt in me.

I know I can’t spend the next two and a half months just doing nothing so I’ve decided to let the PhD gather dust and work on other projects. There are a few conference papers I have given that need work for publication. I’ve decided to invest in my future in academia by getting more publications to make me more employable.

It may not be everyone’s idea of “taking it easy” but I can do it from my couch with a cup of tea and a laptop. Who knows, I might even have the West Wing playing in the background to distract me! That’s my idea of taking it easy for the time being and I won’t feel like I’ve wasted this opportunity to get myself back on track. 

Victor Frankenstein and the state of medicine

I went to see Victor Frankenstein recently even though I knew it had been widely panned by critics. It missed the point entirely about Frankenstein’s monster and James McAvoy really made me feel uncomfortable but the one thing that impressed me were the medical visual effects.

As a student of medical history I am fascinated by medical representations of the body, particularly in nineteenth century texts. The film manages to capture that exploratory spirit demonstrated by doctors and surgeons from the period. The drawings by Igor, played by Daniel Radcliffe, are exquisite and typical of the type of medical learning during the late nineteenth century. An intricate demonstration of the workings of the human body were essential for any student wanting to pass their examinations.

The representation of the health system in Britain is also well done. The scene where Igor visits Lorelei in hospital shows an open ward with no privacy, little sanitation and overcrowding. There are medical students “walking the wards” pay no real attention to the patients but rather to the doctor instructing them. There is a presumption that Lorelei will probably die, again giving an indication of the pitiful state of the hospitals in Victorian Britain.

While the film merely hijacks the name of Frankenstein and not much else from Shelley’s classic, the historical researchers for the project need to be commended. An accurate picture is presented of the medical domain Frankenstein is operating within, including the lack of ethics in a world of medical experimentation.

Discovering Medical London

Last week I brought my boyfriend to London to introduce him to ‘my world’- the world of historical medicine and medical women. He hears a lot about this when I force him to read my chapter drafts but has never experienced sitting in the Hunterian museum surrounded by preserved syphilitic penises. I started thinking about where I should bring him. There were so many places to choose from. On social media I follow quite a few museums and archives in London that deal with the type of medical material relating to my PhD topic; many of which I have visited for research. However, there are other places where I had never been, such as the Old Operating Theatre, and was curious.

I started on a list (I love lists) to help me decide. After all my boyfriend isn’t exactly a novice when it comes to nineteenth century medical history at least, but he does get a bit queasy at the gruesome stuff.

  1. The Wellcome: A must for anyone interested in all things medical. This was always going to be a place to go, particularly because I love visiting the shop to buy the amazing postcards the Wellcome produce.
  2. St. Bart’s Pathology Museum: I’ve not had the chance to visit this yet. We did go to Bart’s but the museum was closed. They only open for special events which is a shame. I like the hospital anyway as Elizabeth Blackwell walked the wards there in 1851 and I enjoy being in the places she has been.
  3. The Elizabeth Garrett Anderson Gallery: Again, this was closed but is usually open. I have been here before and thoroughly enjoyed being in a space that Blackwell worked in. The outside of this former hospital is also quite a sight but something easily missed.
  4. The London School of Medicine for Women: I have never been inside but the sign over the door is enough for me to see. The history behind institution forms a large part of my thesis so I like dragging people to see it every now and again.
  5. The Old Operating Theatre: I first came across this on Twitter and had no idea it existed. For this one I was very curious and was a must-see. The actual operating theatre was fascinating along with all the ‘tools of the trade’. I took quite a few sneaky photos here including this modesty doll.
  6. Florence Nightingale Museum:It’s no secret that I am not a fan of Nightingale but have been here a few times for evening talks. It’s an interesting place to visit but because of my dislike of its namesake I tend to avoid it.
  7. The Hunterian Museum/Royal College of Surgeons: I have been here many many times as well as visiting the Hunterian housed at the University of Glasgow. So many hours can be spent here staring at the jars and oddities John Hunter collected. The archive here is also fantastic.

This isn’t a definitive list but rather places I have come across. If anyone has other suggestions I would love to check them out!

International Conferences and All That Jazz

After recently attending my first “proper” international conference in Charleston, South Carolina, I felt like I should jot down a few things I learned:

1. Before I went to the Southern Association of Women Historians Conference in June I was warned that American PhD students are different to British PhD students. I was told that these PhDs were only looking to make links with people they saw of importance or potential value. This could not have been further from the truth. The women I met at the SAWH Conference in Charleston were amazing and incredibly supportive of one another, regardless of their level in academia.

2. Go by yourself. I find that if I attend a conference with someone I am less likely to mix and meet new people. After all that is what conferences are all about!

3. Bring business cards and don’t be afraid to give them out. In all my wisdom I left my business cards in my suitcase but I was asked for one a few times after I presented my talk. Don’t be afraid to give them out- after all, it’s just a bit of paper!

4. Be sociable and willing to stay up late. It helps if you’re able to drink alcohol, particularly in the South. The ladies I was hanging out with at the conference liked their liquor so fitted right in with them. It’s not a great piece of advice but if you’re at least willing to stay out beyond your normal bedtime you will be deemed one of the more sociable ones at the conference.

5. Present a paper. At every conference I have gone to I have presented a paper. I honestly don’t see the point in attending a conference without being able to expand my CV and network. However, if you’re just there

6. Approach people. If there’s an academic attending whose work you love- go up to them and tell them. Ask them questions and discuss their work in relation to your own research if you can. The worst thing you can do is stand and creepily stare at them from across the room.

7. Stay in the conference accommodation suggested. I stayed at an Airbnb place about 15 minutes away from the conference and I really felt like I missed out on a lot of the fun in between sessions. The place I was staying at was much much nicer but I also had to drag myself through 35degree heat for four days.

8. Tweet. I tweeted throughout the whole conference and loved every minute of it. It’s a great way to network with others at the conference who you haven’t bumped into yet and makes for a great conversation starter.

9. Snack. Make sure you have some sort of snack in your bag during the conference. There were often long periods of time between breaks and I was unable to concentrate on some papers because I was so hungry.

10. Have fun!!!!

The conference at Charleston was a great experience and I really want to go to the next SAWH conference in three years, hopefully with my PhD in tow.